Here's what some famous Austrians say about Kickball:
Sigmund Freud
"I showed up to kickball with like 12 beers, kicked the ball, ran around the bases, and when I made it back to home plate, 4 of my beers were gone. I think my teammates secretly drank them and were trying to convince me I was drunk and that I didn't realize I pounded down a few drinks before the game started. Well, I wasn't drunk! Those jerks drank my beer! But in the end, I made some good friends and decided to give up my work and become a keyboardist in a band. Thanks, Kickball!"
Thomas Bernhard
"There was a time when my life was at a crossroads. My wife left me for another author and I found myself on a lazy diet of bread, mayonnaise, and pez candy. Kickball helped me get back on my feet because I realized there is more to life than being lonely and eating pez all the time. Now I have like 3 girlfriends and my 86' Ford Pinto is all pimped out. Thanks Kickball for drowning my sorrows in a less destructive way!"
Queen Sissi
"Yeah, so one day I'm in a heated argument with some "man" who says Kickball is a "man's" game, and I'm like, "Oh. No. You. Di'int. Let me tell you sumthin', Honey: If a man can do it, a woman can do it betta. Mmhmm, that's right! You best believe I said that to him! That following Sunday, I phoned up all my girlfriends and said, "Ladiez, it's time to show these men how to really get things done!" We beat them 20 - 10 and mocked them by sayin' "Bitch, please. You best not be comin' round here no more frontin' like you all hype! Go back to yo mamas, you Boyz, cuz this is our field!"
Ludwig van Beethoven
"Well, I'm not really Austrian but everyone thinks I am. I actually only play Kickball because I wish I was Austrian. I dunno.. I guess I'm kind of good at the game. But it's important that I get some weekly exercise, and what else am I gonna do on a Sunday?? Exactly. There's nothing else to do on a Sunday except for hang around the house and play cards with Mother. Kickball makes me feel alive because it's chaotic, I can taunt the other team, I make a lot of friends, and after the game we get beers together and drive the waitress crazy. It's like everything I ever wanted in life except without burritos."
Johann Strauss II
"I just show up every week so I can beat Beethoven's ass in a friendly game of Kickball. Pretty eeeasy."
Sigmund Freud
"I showed up to kickball with like 12 beers, kicked the ball, ran around the bases, and when I made it back to home plate, 4 of my beers were gone. I think my teammates secretly drank them and were trying to convince me I was drunk and that I didn't realize I pounded down a few drinks before the game started. Well, I wasn't drunk! Those jerks drank my beer! But in the end, I made some good friends and decided to give up my work and become a keyboardist in a band. Thanks, Kickball!"
Thomas Bernhard
"There was a time when my life was at a crossroads. My wife left me for another author and I found myself on a lazy diet of bread, mayonnaise, and pez candy. Kickball helped me get back on my feet because I realized there is more to life than being lonely and eating pez all the time. Now I have like 3 girlfriends and my 86' Ford Pinto is all pimped out. Thanks Kickball for drowning my sorrows in a less destructive way!"
Queen Sissi
"Yeah, so one day I'm in a heated argument with some "man" who says Kickball is a "man's" game, and I'm like, "Oh. No. You. Di'int. Let me tell you sumthin', Honey: If a man can do it, a woman can do it betta. Mmhmm, that's right! You best believe I said that to him! That following Sunday, I phoned up all my girlfriends and said, "Ladiez, it's time to show these men how to really get things done!" We beat them 20 - 10 and mocked them by sayin' "Bitch, please. You best not be comin' round here no more frontin' like you all hype! Go back to yo mamas, you Boyz, cuz this is our field!"
Ludwig van Beethoven
"Well, I'm not really Austrian but everyone thinks I am. I actually only play Kickball because I wish I was Austrian. I dunno.. I guess I'm kind of good at the game. But it's important that I get some weekly exercise, and what else am I gonna do on a Sunday?? Exactly. There's nothing else to do on a Sunday except for hang around the house and play cards with Mother. Kickball makes me feel alive because it's chaotic, I can taunt the other team, I make a lot of friends, and after the game we get beers together and drive the waitress crazy. It's like everything I ever wanted in life except without burritos."
Johann Strauss II
"I just show up every week so I can beat Beethoven's ass in a friendly game of Kickball. Pretty eeeasy."
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